We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
