We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Randomize
