Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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