Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
