if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
