I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
