69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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