Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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