Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
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Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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