I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
