I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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