I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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