Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
