on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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