oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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