did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
