The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize