He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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