Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
