Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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