If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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