So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
