Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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