I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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