I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The struggles of a small town man whore
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
