are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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