he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sobbing to NWA
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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