Yo dont text me then not text me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
