Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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