Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize