Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
