If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
