I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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