Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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