You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
