I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
