Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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