He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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