the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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