Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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