I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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