i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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