I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
