barbara walters just said penis...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
birth control should be required to get into college
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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