I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
that may or may not have been my penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
