I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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