Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
