I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
