he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
