hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
