This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
