I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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