walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
