Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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