Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
