haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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