wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
