I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
COCAINE IS GR8
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
