I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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