my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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