Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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