i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
