This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize