Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
